Dear Web Page

A lot has happened, but I figured I'll tell it all when I'm done with the last weeks of school. I'll be completely free on December 15th, in the afternoon.

But for now, I wish to write, that if ever I thought there was no one out there with the sole purpose of feeding me with perplex, I was wrong. I can't believe that some things are happening, the world is big, but I guess it's not as grand as I thought. There isn't much fairness in what has occurred. And so, I wonder if abstracts are trying to teach me a lesson.

I wish I could keep working on my French essay, but I have a terrible headache and after taking 2 Tylenol pills (a rare thing for me) I figured I should go to sleep and write Santa a letter. Goodbye.

Sunday Fun

After spending some time together at Zahíli's cozy apartment, we saw a very disgusting web video. I shall not promote this, so I won't say which video it was, all I'll say is that I don't recommend it. The only good thing that came from it was our reaction, filmed by Wil. After, we had dinner and saw a movie. Christmas has officially started. Oh, in case you're wondering, Thanksgiving was good.

Caribbean Cinemas is working well !!!

Finally, after a very very long time, I can be a happy movie lover because two films that I've wanted to see are coming!

"Love in the Time of Cholera”: Scheduled for November 29th
"Once”: Scheduled for November 22

Hopefully, they'll keep getting along with the distributors and both films can come. I'm so excited!!!!

A lovely evening

Even though my plans for today changed, I still managed to have a wonderful evening. I decided to see a movie by myself. "Broken English", I chose, expecting tons of French dialogue. I didn't quite get the quantity that I expected and the film wasn't really memorable (bad script, the main actress had a struggle with staying in character, making her role not very believable), but, I still enjoyed it, for some reason.

I can't wait to celebrate my sister's birthday this Sunday, in Yauco!

I take it back

He has a hidden agenda which became visible after an online conversation tonight. Ugh.

We can be friends!

Tonight, I had the chance to spend some time with someone who had shared past experiences with me, and who taught me a lot. I haven't talked to this person in a long time and with the invitation to help me out in a presentation, I was curious to see how it would be like. Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised. There wasn't any uncomfortable tension, just two friends hanging out in a coffee shop. I didn't see anything changed about this person's personality, but the attitude was different. Time can heal, and we both had a great time. I'm glad we can be friends.

To a lady that left us yesterday

Hecsa Costa was our Spanish teacher in 10th and 12th grade. She was very sick, and left this world yesterday. I wanted to make this post to remember her, and what she did for us. She was a kind and very smart woman who fueled my love for Latin American literature. I have lots of funny, great stories of moments that were shared with her thus I'll always remeber her with a smile. Rest In Peace.

Shopping et L'avortement

Trying to purchase all of the November birthday presents AND Christmas presents in a few hours is an arduous task. I failed at this attempt, but at least I got ahead in my shopping list. Before getting to the mall, I spent about 35 minutes stuck in traffic and trying to find alternate routes, while being swept away by gorgeous Indian music being played at Radio Universidad, an amazing radio station. All the Christmas decorations are starting to show in various places and it feels so exciting! In a clothes boutique I admire some dresses while 3 ladies from the good-old USA stare at me from the lobby, I pass them by, smile and quickly heard then say:"She's a model." "Oh yeah, look at the way she walks." I really don't know what part of my jeans, Eiffel Tower t-shirt, purple backpack and hair in waves screams model to someone, but I guess my posture is still good, yes! It's annoying to go to a store that has a minimum of $5 for credit cards and ATMs when you are cash-less and just want a bagel and some ice tea. Luckily, my friends at the fake French restaurant don't have that policy.


Yesterday, at French class, the professor had the brilliant idea of talking about abortion and making everyone participate. I consider that topic to be so controversial that, at times with certain people, it's not worth it to bring it up. I was right. Conversation is fine, but when a girl says that she is pro-choice and explains a situation that a friend of hers had, the angry group of people who have the same, weak arguments got their claws out. I was enjoying every second of it, until a girl decides to say:"Life begins at the womb, when the child is 3 weeks old." If you know me well, you know I can’t stay quiet after a comment like that has been made.

C:”Oh really? Who told you that?”
Girl :( getting really defensive)”Studies have shown that.”
C: “And why can’t life start before that?”
Girl: “Because…..”
C: “You have no proof of that, why can’t it start at the moment of fertilization?"
Girl: “Because studies have shown…!!!”

At that point I realize that it’s not worth it to continue because someone without a curious mind believes everything that they hear, especially if you use the word:”scientific studies.” Well, a lot of people use those terms for studies that have absolutely no scientific base and doesn't even involve the scientific methods for investigation. So I walk away and leave her to argue with another girl who had something else in mind.

Recuerdo

Recuerdo que hoy, caminando por los pasillos nuevos que traen a mi mente los recuerdos del ayer, vi a una pareja anciana. El, casi no podía caminar, y ella lo sostenía como si necesitara de su mano para continuar. Supe que nosotros nunca haremos eso y me llevó a ese día frío en un hospital. Acompañando a mi madre nos llevan a un cuarto de esperar, sentadas al lado de una pareja peculiar. Jóvenes, estudiantes de la salud, ella me cuenta que está muy enferma, pero noto algo diferente en el, extranjero su acento, del país colonizador su quehacer. Les muestro mi libro y hablamos del subcutáneo, sus maravillas; aunque ella este enferma sus ojos brillan cuando lo mira. Sosteniéndola fuerte dice:"Es tarde y mañana tengo trabajo." Ella responde con esa única determinación de las mujeres de mi país: "Entonces vete, yo me las puedo arreglar sola." Se miran a los ojos y veo a un hombre que en el exterior parece ser rudo, decir con ojos de amor:"Eso lo dices para hacerte la fuerte, yo no te puedo dejar." y sosteniéndola con su apoyo me hacen recordar que cuando enferme tu nunca vas a estar. Y será por los caminos, o por el miedo a cambiar, pero tengo que recordar que esto no va a pasar. Y así escribo este recuerdo para nunca olvidar, que aunque brille hacia la luna ella no, lo va a pasar.

Feelings

You have then, you don't, they pass, they stay forever, and, in weird moments they may come back. The human being is always changing, and so, why do some people hate Mr. Darwin? I find that hard to understand.

Yesterday, I was offered a chance to go back. A door appeared and I saw it open up a bit. But, I didn't go in, and hopefully I won't. If that same door would have been opened a year ago, I would have ran inside and locked it after. Change is good. I'm glad.

A big love in my life and I will be saying goodbye from each other soon, but not forever. I just won't be able to talk and see him everyday. Yes, I'll miss my French. But before I leave my formal french courses, I decided to enroll in 3 for next semester....... plus 2 Biology courses and a Sociology course, which equals 18 credits, Fun !

Slowly, but surely

...the things in the to-do list are being finished. Tonight, I received notice that my primary application was processed. Hooray for that! It's now November, time for Thanksgiving, lots of school work ,for my friends to come back which means...... more hugs! lots of hugs and head massages! Yes! And then, December! My Christmas wishes have already been decided and I can't wait to start decorating.

Love in the Time of Cholera

.....or as I read it:"El Amor en los Tiempos del Cólera". A beautifully written novel from one of my favorite authors, Gabriel García Marquez. García is a Colombian author who won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1982. His masterpiece, "Cien Años de Soledad" ("One Hundred Years of Solitude") has to be one of the most influential pieces in Latin-American literature and beyond.

Now, one of his novels has been translated into film. "Love in the Time of Cholera" is a story about the twists and turns that life makes and how one man's devotion to an unobtainable love influenced his life. It is incredibly written and so I have very high expectations for the film. The cast seems great and the only thing a bit disappointing is that it should have been made in its original language, Spanish, but I guess they wanted to make it more "commercial". I haven't been this excited for a movie in so long. It's set to have a limited release in the US on November 12th. Our movie theatre's website does not have any info on it, so maybe I could be watching this film in DC ! Exciting!!!

I think I got it

After much thought and a talk with my good friend Samuel, I think I found the root of my "blue-ness". Changes are going on, and it makes me a bit worried because of the small chance of not making it, as planned. At least now I know that two things are seriously bothering me, I've identified the problems and now it's time to solve them. Enough.

Oh, you're welcome

Up next a rant about what is bothering me, don't feel like it? Don't read.



Today, everything that has been bothering me for these past weeks caught up with me. In a world where everybody says they're "good" ,"great" and make their lives seem perfect to everyone, I decided not to lie, I don't feel happy. There, I said it. This constant worrying about trivial issues that I should ignore is really just making me feel blue. I feel like I hold on to things simply for the sake of it. Bottom line: I'm not so sure about what I want anymore. I've built expectations towards my relationships with family, friends, career, school and social issues that now I want something else, different. Counting down the days until I finally have a trip away from my country is the one thing that gives me a little hope, because I need a break, from the daily routine that I can't ignore for now, and it's been due for a while. I love my country, but I just need a change, even if it is for just a few days. I think I'm going to take a trip south of the island as soon as I get done with my last final. Just two months left.

Sometimes, when you give too much of yourself and recieve nothing or little in return, then it's time to hold back. Goodbye.